Haven’t we all been taken for a ride some time or other? A time when we feel we’ve been taken advantage of?  Situations when we wonder if there was a great division between what was promised and what was delivered?

When you look at this photo, you would suspect that I’m winding my way through Hong Kong in a rickshaw.  Actually, I paid this enterprising man $40 to take me about 6 feet in one direction and return to his spot all the while smiling for the camera.  My point being that I wanted this shot for the blog, so it was worth it.  To a bystander, it would appear that I’d been rooked by a rickshaw driver.  I mean, isn’t it all about perception, looks being deceiving etc.?   No harm done.  So, I overpaid. I got what I was expecting and had fun along the way.

It just seems to me that all too often that’s not the case when transacting business.  There is a fine line between delivering good value and taking advantage of another person.  There is even a finer line between making an honest dollar and misleading a consumer.  Better defined… the value of any item or service is what the seller is willing to sell for and the buyer is willing to pay for.

Sometimes the exchange of money separates friend from friend and family from family.

Take for example, the headline story in Hong Kong about Stanley Ho, an 88 year old billionaire, with four wives and seventeen children (officially).  Seems the family dispute over money boiled down to the perception of two letters…one written by the father and the other his daughter, Daisy, daughter of the third wife.

Stanley writes January 5, 2011:

Dear Daisy,

So many times I have discussed with you regarding the way to distribute my estate.  Without my consent and knowledge shares have been issued.  I have tried to call you and contact you through your secretary in order to come personally to explain to me what is going on.  However, you have not responded, so I have no other way than through this letter to command you to come to my house with the share certificates.

This has always been my intention and wish, so if you do not appear with the share certificates mentioned above within 48 hours in the presence of all representatives of my four families, I have no other option but to request such certificates to be transferred per my request.

Please do not forget I have talked to you so many times to resolve this amicably, but if you will not comply with my wishes, I must go through legal ways to solve this situation.

Yours sincerely, Dr. Stanley Ho

January 7, 2011:

Dear Dad,

Thank you for your letter dated 5 January 2011.

Firstly, I want to apologize for not being available to see you on Wednesday afternoon as I was very tied up.  Ina, Pansy and myself did, however, meet with you on Wednesday evening and I am glad that any misunderstanding there might have been has been cleared up.  Following your distribution of shares to Angela Leong, Ina, Mom, and all us children are grateful that you re-affirmed your instructions to gift the STDM (casino owned properties) shares to Mom and Ina, so as to preserve harmony within the family and aggregate control over STDM.  Further, the share allocation at Lanceford was done in accordance with your instruction.  I am glad you once again acknowledged and re-affirmed your instructions and I trust there is no longer any confusion about this.  Finally, and just so you know, the STDM shares remain in Lancefords possession.

Apart from the above, I am very open to discuss with you and other family members regarding how best to continue the businesses you so successfully established in the past 40 years.  If you would like to set up a family meeting to discuss these issues, I would obviously be very happy to do so.

Yours,  Daisy

And it APPEARED (Perception) to be settled after Dr. Ho made a statement via a television interview saying that the matter was resolved. (Deception) The next day he sued the family in an effort to regain his wealth (Fact).

Was money the root of this evil while dealing with a dysfunctional family?  Perhaps Dr. Ho just wanted to be back in control of his self-created destiny. Maybe he missed the challenge of creating such a fortune.  Sometimes the excitement is in the journey and the joy is lost when you see it coming to an end, never to be recaptured in your life time.  Was the cost too high?  Was it worth it?  Would he do it all over again?  Was he criticized for taking too many risks?

One person’s gain is another person’s folly.

I say, “When a once in a lifetime rickshaw comes by … jump on and enjoy the ride and never look back.”

Ah, now there’s the rub.  After racing around at record speeds getting Consult P3 and The Nonprofit Roadmap off and running, flying back and forth to consult with a client in Eureka, California every two weeks, overcoming the holiday aftermath of credit card bills arriving, having a wonderful house guest for the month of January, and preparing for our trip to Asia in February by learning a bit of Japanese, I’m ready to sit back, take a deep breath and count my many blessings.

And yet I know this year will go by in a flash and most of us need a reminder to keep priorities in check.   Maybe  it’s time to MAKE TIME by placing those people you love at the top of your call list and say your daily reasons to be grateful when you arise in the morning and before you go to sleep.

At the very least, give yourself a bit of pampering because you are worth it!

These heals are all dressed up with somewhere to go! And that ’somewhere’ is walking into 2011 with optimism, excitement for what this new year can bring and a ‘Can Do ’spirit.

Reminder to self (and maybe you too);

* No matter where you travel, you take yourself with you when you go
* Be sure to like the company you keep, surround yourself with positive people
* Never stop looking for new opportunities
* Always find the bright spot in every challenge and see it as the first step in finding asolution
* When taking a risk, ask yourself if you are willing to live with the consequences
* Smile when you want to frown, laugh when you want to cry
* Take the time to smell the roses, watch a sunset, share a sunrise
* Engage, enjoy and embrace life in all its glory

Where will your shoes take you in the coming year? Have you made a commitment totake what you’ve experienced in the past and merge it with the positive possibilities ofthe future? Have you contemplated what steps are in order to move you to the nextlevel? Well – GET WITH THE PROGRAM! No time like the present!

These heals are meant for Santa and Mrs. Claus delivering at least 1,500 Bears and other furry critters to patients at a local hospital on Christmas morning which has been our tradition for over 20 years now.

It is a time to give with no expectation of receiving and to give thanks for all we have.  As for me,.I’m appreciative for the opportunities to work with and for clients who have taught me priceless lessons in exchange for giving them the best consulting options I could extend to them in return.  I’m hopeful that as we put 2010 behind us, we will all move forward with a feeling of gratitude for everyone we meet and interact with, not taking anything or anyone for granted.

While decorating the trees and making homemade ornaments, I am reminded of the words of my mom’s favorite Christmas song.  Let these visions create the spirit of the season within you.

Chestnuts roasting on an open fire, Jack Frost nipping at your nose,

Yuletide carols being sung by a choir and folks dressed up like Eskimos,

Everybody knows a turkey and some mistletoe help to make the season bright.

Tiny tots with their eyes all aglow will find it hard to sleep tonight.

They know that Santa’s on his way.  He’s loaded lots of toys and goodies on his sleigh.

And ev’ry mothers child is gonna spy to see if reindeer really know how to fly.

And so, I’m offering this simple phrase to kids from one to ninety-two …

Altho’ it’s been said many times many ways: “Merry Christmas to you”

These heels witnessed a wall of fog lifting off the Pacific Ocean giving clarity and transparency to an amazing view.

Each time I fly in or out of Eureka, California to visit my client, the airlines warn that we may or may not be able to land or take off due to poor visibility. Seems the Arcada Airport was used as a training field for Air Force pilots learning to negotiate runways in the worst of weather conditions. Knowing that this particular area is totally fogged in a majority of time and that they’ve been without radar for several months, you have a dicey situation most certainly unappealing to personnel, passengers, crew, tourists, business travelers and most anyone on a time frame.

To the average person it seems illogical that they would maintain the airport in that location, but somehow the seasoned fliers seem to have accepted this as, “That’s just the way it is…..” I, I wonder … how much better would it be to make more progressive changes for the convenience of the customers and employees it would serve?

It may be well to consider the fog in our own personal lives and businesses. What needs to happen to bring clarity, prospective and insight into our lives?

Maybe it’s time to lift the veil that clouds the issues that surround us and insist upon a better view! “To know what we do not know, and to know that we do not know what we do not know, that is true knowledge.” – Copernicus, Polish Astronomer

Boston was both a business trip to meet with my Strategic Alliance, P³ Consulting partner, Andy Klausner and a fun trip including my husband and Jeremy Cooper.  I pushed for having a photo taken on the original site where the tea was actually tossed off the ship signifying that’ enough was enough’.  Due to time restraints we had to improvise.  The staging meant standing tall enough to balance on one foot while lifting my high heel onto a 3 foot plus railing – all the while holding that pose so that you could see Boston in the background.  Being totally out of my comfort zone, I wondered what those courageous folks where thinking while creating a bid of history known as the Boston Tea Party.

Not all ‘Tea Parties’ are political.  Some come in much different forms;

• A 3 ½ year old granddaughter just shared a make believe tea party with me.  It seemed very real as we sipped air and chomped on invisible scones.
• Nothing is more ‘lady like’ than meeting for ‘High Tea’, rather nostalgic and refreshing, even if you leave hungry.
• Some of you may remember the scene in old movies when people would join you for ‘a sip of tea’.

Let’s face it, in this day and age, all of that is overshadowed by politics.  As for me, no matter how you vote and/or feel about the newer Tea Party, it is incredibly wonderful to live in a country that allows us to take a stand and regardless of whether or not it’s your high heel, tea, comments or ideas that you are bringing to the railing, you can bring it because men and women throughout history have made it possible.  So I say, no matter where you stand, stand tall for something you believe in and are willing to hold dear to your heart!

Every individual has a place to fill in the world and is important in some respect whether he chooses to be so or not. – Nathaniel Hawthorne

Alright, so it isn’t my best look, but when a granddaughter comes to you and asks that you make her childhood dream come true by officiating at her wedding dressed as the Glenda the Good Witch, what is a Grandmother to do????

The wedding took place on the lawn of a B&B on the coast of Oregon at 1 p.m., July 3, 2010, and no, I wasn’t in costume, but at 8:30 that morning I was.  I had asked Melanie and her groom, Mark, to meet me on the chosen spot to go over a quick rehearsal.  Instead, there I was in a fluffy pink dress holding the wand waiting for them to share the fantasy.

Did I feel a little silly –  Yes

Did I look a little silly –  Yes

Did it matter – NO!  Not when I saw the pure joy on Melanie’s face as she literally ran across the lawn looking every bit as a six- year- old instead of the beautiful grown woman she has become.  Her smile was only matched by Mark’s sharing how happy his ‘soon to be bride’ was at this moment.

We three were able to share our private words, our hearts and our souls with each other, and the Universe knowing that we would be unable to contain our tears during the service that afternoon if we spoke with such emotion.  It was a manifestation beyond words and priceless beyond measure.

Sometimes we need to step into the day with the idea of ‘creating joy’ as our highest priority.

Two quotes come to mind:

“One of the most tragic things I know about human nature is that all of us tend to put off living.  We are all dreaming of some magical rose garden over the horizon instead of enjoying the roses blooming outside our windows today.” – Dale Carnegie

“It’s only when we truly know and understand that we have a limited time on earth, and that we have no way of knowing when our time is up, that we will begin to live each day to the fullest, as if it was the only one we had.” – Elisabeth Kubler-Ross

This is a tale of Transparency.

You know the story, Cinderella wore her glass slipper to the ball, but when the clock stuck midnight, she lost one shoe running to her carriage before it turned into a pumpkin. The prince scours the village in search of the lady perfect enough to fit the shoe, finds his maiden and magically she transforms her life from a position as a slave to become a princess.

How can we apply this childhood belief into reality?  Let’s first ‘Get Real’!

• Cinderella had to show great courage to formulate and follow her dream
• She was extremely resourceful.
• She knew the rules of the promise she made to attend the event and made the sacrifices she needed to fulfill the agreement.
• She had the strength to show no malicious reaction to the adversity surrounding her life
• She lived happily ever after and wore those transparent glass slippers with humility and reigned over her domain with standards, style and grace.

And now some thoughts about how we, in our business and personal lives, might appear as transparent as Cinderella’s glass slippers.

Considering that the word ‘transparent’ is a word rapidly becoming over used and abused.

Webster’s definition of transparent:

1. transmitting light rays so that objects on the other side may be distinctly seen; capable of being seen through; neither opaque or translucent  2. so fine in texture or open in mesh that objects on the other side may be seen relatively clearly  3. easily understood; very clear 4. easily recognized or detected; obvious  5. without guile or concealment; open frank candid

Can you be transparent and still be a person of substance?

Was Cinderella actually the only woman in the whole land pure enough to wear the glass slipper?  I think not. In this day and age, both men and women are free to break through any perceived glass ceiling if you have the courage, the fortitude, the resourcefulness, the strength and the internal ‘where-with-all’ shining through to show the world that YOU are clearly a person of substance with much more than meets the eye!

As the saying goes, “Don’t judge another person until you’ve walked a mile in their moccasins.’

Would YOU take a different stand if you spent some time wearing somebody else’s  shoes?

What would happen if you …

1. Opened your ears
   • There was a survey taken by asking a person to hear (in his mind only) the song Happy Birthday and simply tap out the rhythm to a person listening to the tapping without any idea of what the song choice is.  After a period of time, frustration grew with both persons.  The tapper knew exactly what was playing in his head, but the listener heard only what sounded like Morse code.  How often do we just assume that we are understood only to discover the listener needed to hear us say the words, write the message and/or clarify the intent of the communication?
2. Opened your eyes
   • What is the other person showing us through their body language, their dress, their mode of presenting themselves to us?  Do we only see what we want to see so that we don’t have to get engaged in the real story?
3. Opened your heart
   • Time after time we are told that if we truly knew the other persons past and present concerns and circumstances we would NEVER trade places with them.
4. Opened your mind
   • Knowledge is the basis of incredible power.  Negotiating to a win-win position happens far more easily and rapidly if you take the time to jump into the other persons state of mind and sense what they are feeling from the situation they’ve found themselves in.
   • Debating tends to put you at odds – while asking the other person to help you understand how they feel will enlighten you.

Hopefully the end result will mean that you learn to understand to be understood.  Understanding can never be over-rated or over-stated, eh?  To quote  Don Swartz, “No one cares how much you know, until they know how much you care”.

Yes, the proverbial treadmill, and that is not all bad!  It doesn’t matter whether you’re running for physical or fiscal health. The “why” is more important than the “what.”It doesn’t matter if you are on the treadmill by choice for the sake of your health and well being. It doesn’t matter if you are staying on, but feeling out of control and feeling you are going nowhere FAST.   It’s all about your attitude and expectation of results in return for the effort you made.

Let’s take a moment to analyze the difference between thinking positively; i.e. “I’m getting better every day in every way” vs. the negative approach of, “How do I get off this stupid thing?” as it relates to your business and personal life style.

Accent the positive by…

1. Knowing why you are getting on the treadmill to begin with…
   • Is it a healthy reason (mentally and physically)?
2. Setting goals
   • What do you want to have happen?  Ask yourself, “WHY?”  Is it to be better fit or is it to further your career. Like the answer you give yourself – or change it.
3. Knowing what results you expect
   • How will you measure your success – Will it be in health, wealth, self (ego), spiritual, social improvements?
4. Creating and implementing your plan of action
   • Create a plan of action
   • Work out -Set the pace –sometimes pushing the bar- sometimes taking a breather
   • Remember why you chose to jump on this treadmill in the first place
   • Create affirmations as reminders that your goal is a gift you are giving yourself
5. Celebrating your success –
   • Tell yourself “Ya done goooood!”

Delete the Negative by…

• Asking yourself how and why you’ve found yourself racing with the clock day after day
• Stop being a victim of circumstances
• Making a safe exit
• Promising yourself that life is too short to accept negativity
• And don’t mess with Mr. In-between – Either get on or get off, but either way - be in control!

The people who get on in this world are the people who get up and look for the circumstances they want, and, if they can’t find them, make them. – George Bernard Shaw